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From one first-born to another:

"First is the worst, 
second is the best, 
third is the one with the hairy chest"

        While arguing over whether being the oldest, the middle child or the baby of the family is "the worst," as the first-born child of my family I just knew that being oldest kid was the hardest role to play. The high expectations, the firm discipline, the vast responsibility. All of my fellow oldest children, say it with me, "Being the oldest is The Worst." But now that I am parent with my first child, I'd like to go back in time, because there are a few things I'd like to tell my first-born self about being the oldest:

Being the oldest...

... has transforming powers. 

This much is true: Being the oldest transformed your parents from two regular people into parents. PARENTS. Before you, they were just two people who lived their lives: They woke up, made some coffee, went to work, went to the store, came home, couldn't decide what to do about dinner, stayed up late, watched TV, hung out with friends, etc. Their lives catered to themselves, each other and family and friends. But now, they're parents, and your birth is what changed that. Not your siblings, not the kids your parents babysat growing up, not even your older cousins - your parents' first nieces and nephews, no. Just you. Your parents are now responsible for a living, breathing baby human being. Now, your parents understand unconditional love - when they see your sweet face. Now they know what real worry is - any time they're not with you. Now, they can empathize and assimilate with those parents in the store who's kids are throwing a tantrum, because you did the same thing yesterday. They've transformed. 

... is not a burden. It's a privilege. 

The expectations of achieving goals, while knowing that nothing less than your best will do. The discipline when you haven't been the best example of an honorable citizen to your siblings. The responsibility of babysitting your siblings as soon as your parents deem you "old enough." While in the moment, being the oldest may seem terrible. As if you might burst because you feel as if have to be all these things, let me tell you, it's not a bad thing. It's an awesome thing. You get to be an example. Your siblings will see you just as that- good or bad. As I look at our first child, I can't help but get excited for him to have a little brother or sister. He gets to show them the ropes. He gets to relate to them in a way that we, his parents, never will.

...means your firsts are not your own, they're shared by your parents.
From the moment you are born, every milestone will be not only yours, but your parents' too. Your first step, your first word, your first day of school, your first sporting game, your first trophy! But also, your first detention, your first breakup, your first grounding. The lists go on and on. As exciting, or as upsetting as it may be, your parents rejoice and mourn with you. And that is because they love you. Yes, you may think you have it the hardest, but remember, your parents are new at this too. This is their first time experiencing this as well. It's been quite a while since they were your age so be patient with them (This is one of those times where you should welcome the company of your siblings).

... makes you the hardest to give away.
On the first night of a babysitter, on your first day of kindergarten, on your first day of college, when you get married. This doesn't mean you are loved more than your siblings, or that you are better in any way. This only means that just as you transformed your parents into parents, your leaving leaves them with one less child in their home. An empty room to tidy up, or to walk by every day to remind them that you are no longer under their watch. No, you're not dead, but you aren't there for them to watch you grow up anymore. Your firsts are now being shared with others and it's a hard transition! It's hard. And as I watch my little baby learn to grab for his toys and sit up on his own, I can't help but think that there will be a day when he doesn't want me to kiss his face a million times over, or I won't get to hold his hand as he falls asleep. There will be a day when he no longer lives with us, and I know that's a long way off, but it still makes a small part of my heart break! 

I pray that our little guy would come to know these things earlier than I did. And that he would be patient with us, forgiving and kind as we journey through life together. And that he would know that patience, forgiveness and kindness from Jesus- the only one to do all of those things, and more, perfectly.