A father and his son :: Hunter and little H

Let’s get this out first and foremost… Alex is the writer, not me.

     That being said, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to share what’s going on in my heart/head right now. It’s nothing profound, nothing divine, just the overflowing emotion of an expecting father.

     So I’m a pretty emotional guy. I cry a lot. The Biggest Loser family reveal shows, a salvation story, orphans, homeless, hurting families, and hurting marriages all bring tears to my eyes. I even cried in Air Bud (give me a break, I was 8).  All that to say, I don’t hide emotion very well. I’m pretty sure Alex could tell from very early on in our marriage that I wanted to be a father. One attribute of God in which I can identify is how children are very near to his heart. I love kids, and I always have. Seriously, I lose my train of thought any time a baby is brought into a room.

     Alex and I had been married just over 2 years when she came home from work one day and told me something I’ll never forget. See, our first 2 years of marriage were a phenomenal time of growth for us; a time where we learned how to center our marriage around Christ, how to live together (living with her is a dream, but I’m pretty sure my weirdness drives her crazy), what it means to love unconditionally, and how to use our marriage as a witness for Jesus in a broken world. We are best friends. As Alex’s husband, I never wanted to pressure her into having kids. I wanted her to be ready, to be excited to enter into motherhood. So what happened when she came home after 2 years of marriage, on a normal midweek workday, before we started to cook dinner, and looked me in the eyes and said, “Hunter, I’m ready to be a mom.” What was my reaction?????? I was scared out of my mind. “Are you sure? I don’t know if I’m ready now. Maybe we need to really think and pray about this.” The thought of being a dad overwhelmed me in that moment, so we prayed. We prayed for wisdom, and by that night it was clear to us. It’s go time. 

     One month later, I was getting excited. Alex was late, I was confident, we were both young and healthy… WE’RE GOING TO BE PARENTS! I remember going to church that morning (I had to work, so Alex met me at the service). Right as we begin worship, Alex slips into the seat next to me, and I hear a whisper in my ear, “Hunter, I had my period this morning.” The emotion in that moment is one that will be hard to explain in words. A little bit of heartbreak, a lot of punctured pride, helplessness, failure. However, in an instant, it turned to worship. As I wept, I remember singing things in my head like, “God, you are the giver of life, not me. I’m simply a tool you may (or may not) use to bring life into this world. God, humble me. Having children isn’t up to me, it’s in your hands.” It turned out to be a very joyful moment for our family, as our faith in God was increased even more that morning. 

Now, don’t feel sorry for me. Please. We got pregnant the very next month, but I believe if we’d gotten pregnant that first month, I would’ve had ungodly pride about my ability to produce kids. But there it was, a month later, the pregnancy test saying we were pregnant. Yes we, I’ve gained weight too over the last 8 months (dang you Andy’s red velvet concretes). 

     The last 8 months has been a mixture of expectation, anxiousness, fear of the unknown, falling more in love with not only my wife but the mother of my son, and worship of our Father for his gift of life. I’m already a dad. I could play tag with his elbows and feet poking through her belly ALL DAY LONG. I long for the day where I get to look him the eyes… tell him he’s so loved… hold him while he’s sick… be in shock as he poops on me (ok, not LONGING for that one, but expecting it to come)… sing him back to sleep at 3am… pray with him in my arms… and read the truth of God’s word over his itty bitty self. I’ve so enjoyed building him furniture, picking his name (HRH, the same initials as me), and thinking of all the little crazy things we will do together: beat box, throw the football for hours, dance in our underwear for mom, you get the picture (sorry about the mental picture on the last one). 

     BTW, I can’t emphasize enough what a great mother Alex House already is. As weird as it may sound, she was made for this. Her heart so reflects the intimate caring nature of our Father, and I can’t wait for our son to be raised by her. She’s been such a trooper through this pregnancy, and I respect her and her wisdom more than anyone else on this earth.

So as a father to be (btw, little H is due on Father’s day), what am I praying? Many things, but here are a few:

•     I pray that God would bring salvation to my son, and that he would be filled with love for Jesus. (John 6:44, no one comes to Jesus unless drawn by the Father) 
•   I pray that he would fall in love with the word of God, cherishing it as though it was a precious gem. (Psalm 1:1-3, his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on it he meditates day and night)
• I pray that as he grows, he would be a man of character, just like Jesus. (Luke 2:52, and Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man)
• I pray that he looks like his mother (she’s hot). (No Biblical support)
• I pray that he would never know a day that his earthly and Heavenly fathers didn’t love him. (Psalm 127:3-5, the first arrow in our quiver)
• I pray that he would flee sexual immorality and honor God with his body. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
• I pray for his future wife, that their marriage would be a witness of God’s love for humanity. (Proverbs 31:10-12, a wife of noble character is worth far more than rubies)
• I pray that he would love and respect his mom. (Colossians 3:20, the Lord is pleased when children obey their parents)
• I pray that he would have an eternal perspective. (2 Corinthians 4:18, what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal)
• I pray for his protection from the evil in this world, but I also pray that God would give Alex and me the ability to release him into the world for the sake of Christ, no matter what the cost. (John 17:18, just as you have sent me into the world, so I send them)

      In 5-7 weeks, there will be a human (God willing) breathing in this world… a human that is half me, half Alex. It’s weird to think about. We will be in the car on the way home from the hospital, just the three of us, our new family.

      We are excited. We are in awe. Thank you Jesus that our son isn’t born into a dying world with no hope. You bring hope. Father, just as you gave your son for our sake, we give you ours. He’s yours to use as you please. Thank you for allowing us to be the host of a soul, a soul created by you in your image for your glory. Amen